Don’t you just hate it when you wished you said this or if you could do it all over again you would have handled things differently? Those are called the “shoulda, coulda, woulda’s” and they, in my opinion, are the root causes of resentment, anger and guilt. The deep pressure in your chest, and the reason you may lose sleep are there, usually because, you would give almost anything to handle the situation differently.
In order to avoid shoulda, coulda, woulda’s, try making every attempt to reach out to someone-- BUT only do it ONCE.
I’ve cut many relationships off and I’ve been cut off as well; it all comes with the territory when maturing and growing (sometimes outgrowing) people. I don’t have ill feelings though, it is what it is. In almost all my disagreements I am VERY clear to the other party as to why I am upset, there shouldn’t be any confusion as to why I no longer want to continue the relationship. Unfortunately, that courtesy is hardly ever reciprocated. Here is where my solitary attempt to reach out comes in; I will reach out, inquire or attempt to have a discussion to resolve the issues. The way those attempts at communication are handled by the other party should be closely observed; remember actions speak louder than words. Let me break it down for you: LOOK! Don’t listen.
After you have attempted to resolve the issue, you have done your due diligence. Don’t try again. Regrettably, you’ll be completely clueless as to what they are upset about; however you know you gave it your best effort for it not to get there.
The sad reality is people allow assumptions in their mind (and sometimes formed by others) to become truth. They don’t ask any questions, or stop and think to themselves if “what they’ve heard” makes any sense (it usually doesn’t). I’ve come to the conclusion that these assumptions became so ridiculous that they are too embarrassed to admit their gullibility or insecurity. As long as I know I reached out to them to clear the air; it’s on them.